Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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