Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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