does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
