you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
