it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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