I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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