she woke up with a sticky ear
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
