okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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