I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Randomize
