I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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