Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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