the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
