So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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