I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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