their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
