I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
