Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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