well I can't set my house on fire every night
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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