I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize