I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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