You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
