Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
