'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
