he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
