But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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