Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize