I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
