She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize