I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
we're so committed to being not committed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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