Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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