Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
