No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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