And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
