i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
