He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
