am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
