; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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