WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
