You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
