Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this boner is exhausting
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
