she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
