pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
