i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
