24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds