I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME