with your own penis?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken