so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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