I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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