I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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