I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
