I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
