I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
