Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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