real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
farters have to be the big spoon...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
