Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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