Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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