shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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