he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
