that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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