You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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