Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize