I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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