Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
